Conservatism is an (incurable?) illness!

 email Stephen L. Goldstein: trendsman@aol.com

After careful, thoughtful, longtime, objective, clinical observation, I have come to the inescapable conclusion that “conservatitis,” the mutant of mainstream conservatism that is epidemic today, is a certifiable illness—curable only by a protocol of extra-strength liberalism. But I get ahead of myself out of pity and my desire to give hope to the afflicted. First things, first: Victims and those who care for them need to understand the exact nature and extent of the seven “deadly” symptoms of “conservatitis” before taking or administering “the cure.”

1. Lack of empathy: Congressional tea party/Republicans have opposed extending unemployment benefits. Defrocked presidential candidate Herman Cain said that if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself—not Wall Street or big banks. Newt Gingrich suggested that poor people are lazy and have no work ethic. Mitt Romney justifies doing away with thousands of jobs to create thousands more of them.

2. Paranoia: Victims of “conservatitis” fantasize about enemies and threats to their health everywhere, particularly in election years. One year, it’s same-sex couples who want to get married. The next year, it’s illegal immigrants. There’s always someone or something out to get them. This year, it may be the tooth fairy conspiring with the Easter bunny.

3. Hallucinations: The “conservatitis” epidemic has disproportionately affected tea party/GOP governors and state legislatures that have enacted sweeping, draconian measures to combat voter serious fraud—which doesn’t exist.

4. A neurotic desire to live in the past: A failed Republican primary candidate for the U.S. Senate from Nevada suggested that, “in the olden days,” “our grandparents” paid doctors with chickens—and we should do the same.

5. Selective morality: Newt Gingrich says he cheated on his wife “for love of country”—and God has forgiven him. I say she isn’t fooled—and hasn’t.

6. A neurotic commitment to failure: It has been said that the difference between a rat in a maze guessing that a wrong door has the cheese behind it and a human in the same predicament is that the rat will eventually move on to a different door. Republican prez wannabes persist in claiming that lowering taxes raises revenues when it doesn’t. Wrong door, rotten cheese.

7. An abnormal desire to pledge: Even in its mildest form, “conservatitis” leaves victims unable to think for themselves. Grover Norquist boasts that 238 members of the U.S. House of Representatives, 41 U.S. Senators, and more than 1,100 state officeholders have signed his no-taxes pledge—an impeachable offense.

The jury is out on whether “conservatitis” is an acquired disease or the result of a genetic predisposition. Either way, there is hope. Experiments at McGill University and the University of Chicago suggest that rats have empathy for each other. Perhaps they could supply the missing gene for tea party/GOP with “conservatitis.” Science has also proven that the neurochemical oxytocin makes people trustworthy and moral. So, it could be the basis for a vaccine to treat symptoms of “conservatitis.” For others, substituting Judeo-Christian teachings for the Godless rants of Ayn Rand may suffice. Liberalism is founded upon the ethical and moral teachings of the Old and New Testaments. Read for their original intent, they could heal ailing conservatives.

For victims of “conservatitis” who are untreatable or unwilling to take the cure, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do”—and vote Democratic!#

Liberal agenda for Florida--and the nation--for 2014

by Stephen L. Goldstein, op-ed columnist and author of Atlas Drugged: Ayn Rand Be Damned!

from The South Florida Sun-Sentinel, January 6, 2012

            After the 2012 Election, you don’t have to be a weatherman to know that the political wind is blowing liberal in the Sunshine State: For the tea party/GOP, there’s a storm brewing, and it’s more than a tempest in a teapot. It turns out that Florida voters can only be lied to for so long. Since 1999, Republican governors and a Republican-dominated Legislature, now taken to kookdom by tea party members, have enacted mean-spirited policies that favor corporations and hurt average citizens. Two months ago, disgusted voters finally said enough is enough.

            But there’s no rest for the politically savvy. In less than two years, on Nov. 4, 2014, Election Day, Floridians need to repudiate the failed past by firing Gov. Rick Scott,  electing more Democrats to the Legislature, and paving the way to a promising future by putting on the ballot and passing constitutional amendments that would . . . 

            1. Legalize same-sex marriage: In June, the U.S. Supreme Court will rule in two cases involving same-sex marriage. But liberals should prepare to put an amendment legalizing it on the 2014 ballot—in case the Court renders a less than sweeping decision. A recent Quinnipiac University poll reports that 45 percent of Florida voters oppose gay marriage (down from 50 percent since May) and 43 percent support it. An amendment could energize support, especially among young voters.

            2. Decriminalize marijuana: In defiance of federal law, The District of Columbia and 18 states have passed laws legalizing medical marijuana. In November, Colorado and Washington became the first states in the nation to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. A pot amendment would bring out hordes of liberal voters, including the young and seniors whose arthritis, glaucoma, and Parkinson’s may be helped by medical Cannabis.

            3. Provide for the recall of all elected officials: Once in office, too many elected representatives pander to special interests and thumb their noses at voters. We can’t afford to wait until the next election. All of them should be subject to recall.

            4. Establish an independent election review board: Appointed by the Florida Supreme Court, the board should establish and enforce statewide standards, policies, and procedures for elections. After their voter suppression efforts in 2012, the governor and the Legislature have no credibility.

            5. Make it harder for the Legislature to put constitutional amendments on the ballot: The tea party/GOP-dominated Legislature has played fast and loose with amendments, principally to get its “base” to vote. This amendment should require a two-thirds vote of both House and Senate in two successive sessions to put their amendments on the ballot; the number of legislature-originated amendments should be limited to three in any given year; and to pass, an amendment should have to receive support equal to 30 percent of all voters in a given election, or 60 percent of those who vote on a specific question, whichever is greater.

            6. Restore all ex-felons’ rights automatically: From his precarious moral perch, Gov. Rick Scott, former CEO of a company that paid the largest Medicare/Medicaid fine in U.S. history, made it harder for felons who have served their time to get their rights restored. Ex-felons permanently lose their civil rights—including the right to vote, hold public office, serve on a jury, and hold certain types of state occupational licenses—unless they are restored by the governor and Board of Executive Clemency after a lengthy process. But there’s no guarantee. Non-violent felons must wait five years before applying for reinstatement; violent felons, seven years. Florida leads the nation with 1.5 million disenfranchised ex-felons. Twenty-three percent of the voting-age black population can’t vote because of a felony record. Passing this amendment would help ex-felons lead productive lives.       

            7. Establish that life begins at birth: Florida has waged a war on women’s reproductive freedom for years. In 2008, 72 percent of Florida counties had no abortion provider. The “Women’s Health Freedom” amendment should state that decisions about a woman’s health and reproduction are matters of privacy between her and her doctor or her chosen other health professional(s).

            In November, 2012, Florida voters soundly rejected draconian Constitutional Amendments that members of the Legislature put on the ballot. But as sure as weathermen will tell you that the sun rises in the East, the tea party/GOP is planning to hatch another slew of them in 2014—likely some of those that were defeated, repackaged better to fool voters. So, it’s time for liberals to eclipse them, rain on their parade, and let weathermen deliver the good news about which way the wind is blowing.#